If you answered yes to the headline, you are not alone. While there are many ways to handle a difficult boss, I want you to think of something a bit different. Could you be part of the problem?

Here’s a hot tip: Become Aware of Yourself.

That’s right! Here is a true account so you see what I mean. About two years ago I had a woman in my seminar who told a story. It went like this:

I asked my boss for a scheduled face-to face meeting. When I arrived I talked to him about the issues and then after awhile he got on his cell phone. He did this as I was still talking! I almost couldn’t believe it but I kept going. Then a few minutes later, a man walked in and said, “Do you have a time to meet with me?” My boss looked at me and said, “Yes,” to the man and walked out! Seriously, right in the middle of our meeting!

The other women in the group, including me, were aghast. How could this boss do this? What a jerk! Then fast forward a week or so after thinking about it some more, and I realized that she was part of the problem. Sure, he wasn’t assertive with her and was acting like a jerk and a difficult boss. However, after knowing her just for a day, I knew she liked to talk and talk and not get to her point quickly. I think she drove him crazy. I also think he texted his buddy to rescue him.

She hadn’t even considered it was partially her. The lesson is for you to ask yourself, what are you doing? From your boss’s perspective where could you improve?

If we first look at ourselves and make changes, we will see that our bosses will be less difficult and our stress will go down. And when your stress goes down everyone benefits.