A friend of mine told her controlling husband had cheated. Since he was now gone, she didn’t need to check in with him to see what kind of peas were acceptable. It was a huge moment because she knew she was on her own and responsible for her own life. This was many years ago, when she was in her twenties, but she never forgot the significance of the peas. Her life has never been the same and she has a happy fulfilling life.

Have you been in an awful situation where you almost couldn’t breathe because of the terrible pain? When something bad happens like this, I call it “The Terrible Awful.” I know how stressful it is, but I also know how exhilarating it can be depending on what the terrible awful is for you.

How can you climb out of the dark hole? I know it’s possible, because I did it and so did my friend and so many others. You may never completely be okay with what happened, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get stronger, healthier and much happier.

Here are some tips so you don’t become bitter:

  • Give yourself time to grieve and adjust
  • Write in a journal (write through your feelings)
  • Take responsibility for your part
  • Decide to have a good attitude when possible
  • Ask for help
  • Find a good counselor that fits you
  • Make a plan and stick to it (what to do next)
  • Take it one day at a time (sometimes one minute at a time)
  • Learn from your failures and keep going
  • Listen to advice, but remember it is your life
  • Spend time with friends laughing
  • Start each morning with prayer
  • Make a conscious effort not to take your pain out on anyone else
  • Focus on one thing a week to improve yourself
  • Speak kindly to yourself
  • Live your life on purpose instead of floating through your days